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Mathematics can be serious business - but it doesn't need to be. This book contains a wild and disorganized collection of both useful and utterly useless mathematical topics. You will learn about car-following models, theme park queues, math in politics, the sound intensity of rivers, networks, the optimal way of smoking, overtones, the publication bias, the zombie apocalypse and much more. The focus lies on applied calculus, sprinkled with a bit of probability, sets and algebra. Important note: to enjoy the book, you need solid prior knowledge in algebra and calculus. This means in particular being able to solve all kinds of equations, finding and interpreting derivatives, evaluating integrals as well as understanding the notation associated with these topics. Warning: This book might turn you into a solitary math nerd, shunned by those you hold most dear.