Life Sentence
by Simon Gillard /
2017 / English / EPUB
4.3 MB Download
"I’m awake again, shaking, sweating. My heart is racing and I
stare into the dark. I can’t close my eyes. I fear the images –
too many to count. They swim behind my eyelids; I am drowning in
their terror. Suicides, heart attacks, murders, car crashes. The
images come again and again. All the dead people . . . I have to
touch their legs, their arms, reach into their pockets, look into
their unseeing eyes for clues."
"I’m awake again, shaking, sweating. My heart is racing and I
stare into the dark. I can’t close my eyes. I fear the images –
too many to count. They swim behind my eyelids; I am drowning in
their terror. Suicides, heart attacks, murders, car crashes. The
images come again and again. All the dead people . . . I have to
touch their legs, their arms, reach into their pockets, look into
their unseeing eyes for clues."
From the moment two police officers walked into his primary
school to give a talk, Simon Gillard knew he wanted to be a
policeman. It was a dream that stayed with him right through high
school, and as soon as he was old enough he applied to join the
force. He began as an optimistic young probationary constable
with a great sense of humor and passion for the job. But as his
career began to build, so too did the number of cases he worked
on, from high-profile murder investigations to pedophile rings,
suicides to the investigation even of a fellow officer. As the
cases mounted, Simon started to suffer panic attacks and to drink
heavily. Nights were the most difficult: he would shut his eyes
only to be tormented by nightmares about missing young women, and
schoolboys not much older than his own son, whose lives had been
devastated. He sought help but was encouraged to just "go back to
work" and ended up making four attempts on his own life. He was
later formally diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and
invalided out of the force. In this powerful memoir, Simon
reveals the details of the cases he worked on, how the police
force operates, and how one man’s life can spiral so out of
control. He is now working to create awareness about PTSD and has
written this book to help other sufferers.
From the moment two police officers walked into his primary
school to give a talk, Simon Gillard knew he wanted to be a
policeman. It was a dream that stayed with him right through high
school, and as soon as he was old enough he applied to join the
force. He began as an optimistic young probationary constable
with a great sense of humor and passion for the job. But as his
career began to build, so too did the number of cases he worked
on, from high-profile murder investigations to pedophile rings,
suicides to the investigation even of a fellow officer. As the
cases mounted, Simon started to suffer panic attacks and to drink
heavily. Nights were the most difficult: he would shut his eyes
only to be tormented by nightmares about missing young women, and
schoolboys not much older than his own son, whose lives had been
devastated. He sought help but was encouraged to just "go back to
work" and ended up making four attempts on his own life. He was
later formally diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and
invalided out of the force. In this powerful memoir, Simon
reveals the details of the cases he worked on, how the police
force operates, and how one man’s life can spiral so out of
control. He is now working to create awareness about PTSD and has
written this book to help other sufferers.